Michael Logan

Novelist, Journalist and other things ending in -ist

  • Novels
    • Hell’s Detective
    • World War Moo
    • Wannabes
    • Apocalypse Cow
  • Short Stories
    • We Will Go On Ahead and Wait for You
    • Shade
    • The Warlord of Aisle Nine
    • The Red Lion
    • When the Dead Walked the Earth – Without Kevin
    • More stories
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Buy Apocalypse Cow, get Wannabes free

July 30, 2014 by Michael Logan

From now until the end of August 2014, I will be running a promotion to get two of my books for the price of one. Buy a copy of Apocalypse Cow in any format during this period, and you will receive a free ebook of my new novel, Wannabes.

To claim your ebook, send proof of purchase to freelancelogan@fastmail.co.uk, and I will email you a download code for your free book.

Apocalypse Cow

‘Apocalypse Cow treads that rare path between horrific and hilarious, which makes for a very fun read indeed. Give it a go.’ – NY Times bestselling author Christopher Moore, author of Lamb, Fool and A Dirty Job.

Apocalypse Cow made me snort with laughter.’ – Terry Pratchett, bestselling author of the Discworld series

‘This clever and very funny twist on the traditional zombie novel is exceedingly well executed (it approaches but never quite steps into parody territory), and it ends with a scene that pretty much demands a sequel. Great stuff for horror and fantasy fans.’ – Booklist (Starred Review)

Winner of the Terry Pratchett First Novel Prize.

If you think you’ve seen it all – WORLD WAR Z, THE WALKING DEAD – you haven’t seen anything like this. From the twisted brain of Michael Logan comes Apocalypse Cow, a story about three unlikely heroes who must save Britain . . . from a rampaging horde of ZOMBIE COWS!

Forget the cud. They want blood.

It began with a cow that just wouldn’t die. It would become an epidemic that transformed Britain’s livestock into sneezing, slavering, flesh-craving four-legged zombies.

And if that wasn’t bad enough, the fate of the nation seems to rest on the shoulders of three unlikely heroes: an abattoir worker whose love life is non-existent thanks to the stench of death that clings to him, a teenage vegan with eczema and a weird crush on his maths teacher, and an inept journalist who wouldn’t recognize a scoop if she tripped over one.

As the nation descends into chaos, can they pool their resources, unlock a cure, and save the world?

Three losers.
Overwhelming odds.
One outcome . . .

Yup, we’re screwed.

Wannabes

‘Logan … blends the bitingly satirical with the delightfully nonsensical with ease, creating a wonderfully entertaining mix. Hidden beneath all the dark comedy, Logan deftly picks apart the nature of celebrity culture.’ – The Eloquent Page

‘This is a writer with a certifiable imagination capable of weaving fact into fiction with deft strokes of dark genius smattered with sniggeringly wry humour; a plot so deliciously embellished with cringeworthy terror-filled reality that you can’t help feel empathy for the whole of humanity itself, whilst choking on your tittering.’ – John Hudspith, Author of Kimi’s Secret

Celebrities are mobbing London’s laser clinics as a deranged wannabe bumps off A-listers, believing he can absorb their powers and become famous by taping their tattoos to his body.

Washed-up pop star Jackie Thunder isn’t joining the stampede. Jackie figures that if he can get on the killer’s hit list, without the inconvenience of actually being murdered, he’ll gain the publicity needed to reignite his career.

But there’s more at stake than Jackie can possibly imagine. Guiding the killer is Murmur, a minor demon with his own agenda to make a name for himself, and Jackie becomes an unwitting pawn in a decades-old plot to destroy great music through murder, mayhem and manipulation.

With humanity’s collective soul at stake, how far will Jackie go to reach the top?

Filed Under: apocalypse cow, bargain, book, Booklist, christopher moore, free, giveaway, horror, humour, pratchett, promotion, satire, Wannabes

Winners of the Wannabes draw

July 28, 2014 by Michael Logan

Last night, I stripped down to my barbed-wire underpants, suspended a severed human finger from my nipple ring (left) and gyrated spastically over a list of names. The cracked fingernail scratched ominously upon the following individuals, marking them out as the next victims of my murder spree … sorry, I meant winners of a free Wannabes ebook.
Please email your home address, movement patterns (particularly when you are likely to be alone and inattentive in dark corners) and any weaknesses in your security systems to freelancelogan@fastmail.co.ukto claim your prize*. I will deliver it when you least expect it. I hope it brings you release. 

*I genuinely need your email address so I can privately send a download code to get it for free. You don’t really need to send me your home address.

Niccolo Capanni

Emma O’Flaherty
Richard Harris
Lindsay Conway
Neil McCormack
Glen Forbes
Alexander Ikawah
Stuart Twyman
Steve Butterworth
Kirsteen Smith
Jody Bilyj
Danslovejuice (it’s a twitter handle, so don’t blame me)
K Castillo
Rev Glynn
Juliet Muriuki
Aleya Kassam
Frank Zsigo
Janis Tafoya
Ubah Hassan
James Hilton

Jeannette Walton

Filed Under: Wannabes, winners

Wannabes is now on sale

July 21, 2014 by Michael Logan

My second novel, Wannabes, is now available to buy as an ebook. To celebrate, I’m giving away twenty copies. In order to enter the random draw, please spread the news on your blog, Twitter or Facebook and send me an email at freelancelogan@fastmail.co.ukto let me know you have done so. I’ll draw the winners on July 28 and send a code for the free download.
The book (and sample chapters) is currently available on Amazon UK and US, as well as all the other country stores, and through iBooks. It is also available in all ebook formats through Smashwords. The price is $3 or the currency equivalent. You can get it for the Nook from Barnes and Noble and will soon be on sale through Kobo and other ebook stores.
If you are on Goodreads, you can add the book here.
Also, don’t forget that the release date for Apocalypse Cow: World War Moo has been set as 9 June 2015. Put it in your calendar!

Wannabes
Celebrities are mobbing London’s laser clinics as a deranged wannabe bumps off A-listers, believing he can absorb their powers and become famous by taping their tattoos to his body.
Washed-up pop star Jackie Thunder isn’t joining the stampede. Jackie figures that if he can get on the killer’s hit list, without the inconvenience of being murdered, he’ll gain the publicity needed to reignite his career.
But there’s more at stake than Jackie can possibly imagine. His desperate ploy for attention plunges him into the heart of a decades-old demonic plot to destroy great music through murder, mayhem and manipulation.
With humanity’s collective soul at stake, how far will Jackie go to reach the top?

Filed Under: angels, apocalypse cow, culture, demons, fantasy, fiction, horror, michael logan, novel, satire, society, tattoos, Wannabes, World War Moo

Two books on the way

June 20, 2014 by Michael Logan

As you may know by now, the sequel to Apocalypse Cow is on its way. Entitled Apocalypse Cow: World War Moo, it will be released by St. Martin’s Press in mid-2015. Full details will emerge in good time.

However, I can reveal that Geldof and Lesley will be back – along with some new characters – as we embark on an adventure involving combat yoga, ferocious Noel Edmonds lookalikes, and cow bombs in an infected Britain about to be obliterated by an all-out international offensive.

To fill the gap in the meantime (it has been over two years since Apocalypse Cow first came out), I will be releasing an eBook in the next few months. You can read the blurb and first three chapters of this book, Wannabes, below.

The cover, final release date, and links to buy will be unveiled over the next few weeks. If any book bloggers want a review copy, drop me a line through the contacts page on my website, and I’ll send you a DRM-free eBook once the final edits and design elements are completed (likely mid-July).

Wannabes

I want my children to listen to people who fucking rocked. I don’t care if they died in puddles of their own vomit. I want someone who plays from his fucking heart – Bill Hicks

Celebrities are mobbing London’s laser clinics as a deranged wannabe bumps off A-listers, believing he can absorb their powers and become famous by taping their tattoos to his body.

Washed-up pop star Jackie Thunder isn’t joining the stampede. Jackie figures that if he can get on the killer’s hit list, without going so far as being murdered, of course, he’ll gain the publicity needed to reignite his career.

But there’s more at stake than Jackie can possibly imagine. His desperate ploy for attention plunges him into the heart of a decades-old demonic plot to destroy great music through murder, mayhem and manipulation.

With humanity’s collective soul at stake, just how far will Jackie go to reach the top?


Read the first three chapters here.

Sign up to the mailing list to be sure you don’t miss any news on releases.

Filed Under: apocalypse cow, fiction, michael logan, novel, sequel, Wannabes, World War Moo

Back in a flash

May 20, 2014 by Michael Logan

It’s been a while since I’ve written flash fiction. 250 words doesn’t leave much wiggle room to tell a story, but it’s a lot of fun to be back as I get something ready for the Bridport Prize. 
My last flash won the Fish Publishing Flash Fiction Prize, so at least I have some previous form in the form and may be in with an outside shout. You never know with these prizes, as you have to get through two layers of reader before the final judge even sees your work, so you are dealing with three different sets of literary taste buds.
What I am remembering is that every word is crucial. With the last story, I spent weeks scrutinizing, swapping and fiddling, down to the point where I changed one word about ten times. My planned Bridport entry is now fully written and within the word count, but I am definitely getting out the fine-mesh strainer to refine it over the course of this week.
Anyway, you can read my previous winner here if you have two minutes to spare to see just how tight you have to be.

Filed Under: bridport, fiction, fish, flash

Unmasking Richard Crompton, The PUNisher

May 6, 2014 by Michael Logan

Richard Crompton, and his agent and publishers, would have you believe he is a serious author. He did after all write The Honey Guide, a gritty and literary detective novel set in Nairobi. Said novel has indeed been longlisted for the Theakston Old Peculier Crime Novel of the Year. And it was shortlisted for an LA Times award that was eventually won by JK Rowling in authorial drag. And lots of serious people, including Ian Rankin, have said serious things about it in serious newspapers
I am here to crack about that façade, for the man is undoubtedly the worst punner in human history.
My publisher and I have been kicking around possible titles for the Apocalypse Cow follow-up. Innocently, I asked Richard Crompton if he had any thoughts. What followed in a string of text messages spanning 24 hours displays exactly the depths of verbal depravity this so-called ‘serious’ author is prepared to plumb.
Below I give you his list of suggested titles. Be warned: the groans you issue may well rupture several internal organs.

From Steer to Eternity
The (British) Empire Strikes Yak
Apocalypse Cow 2: Look Who’s Porking
The Sound of Moo Sick
Apocalypse Cow 2: Raising the Steaks
The Tripes of Wrath
Fiddler on the Hoof
For Whom the Cowbell Tolls
The Ruminants of the Day
Two Cows and One: A Space Cuddessy
Cowering Inferno
Episode Moo: A Moo Hope
A Moo to a Kill
Styfall
A Beef History of Time
The Lives of Udders
Tomorrow Heifer Dies
Carlitos’ Whey
Requiem for a Cream

Filed Under: apocalypse cow, puns, richard crompton, The Honey Guide

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