Michael Logan

Novelist, Journalist and other things ending in -ist

Buy Apocalypse Cow, get Wannabes free

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From now until the end of August 2014, I will be running a promotion to get two of my books for the price of one. Buy a copy of Apocalypse Cow in any format during this period, and you will receive a free ebook of my new novel, Wannabes.

To claim your ebook, send proof of purchase to freelancelogan@fastmail.co.uk, and I will email you a download code for your free book.

Apocalypse Cow

‘Apocalypse Cow treads that rare path between horrific and hilarious, which makes for a very fun read indeed. Give it a go.’ – NY Times bestselling author Christopher Moore, author of Lamb, Fool and A Dirty Job.

Apocalypse Cow made me snort with laughter.’ – Terry Pratchett, bestselling author of the Discworld series

‘This clever and very funny twist on the traditional zombie novel is exceedingly well executed (it approaches but never quite steps into parody territory), and it ends with a scene that pretty much demands a sequel. Great stuff for horror and fantasy fans.’ – Booklist (Starred Review)

Winner of the Terry Pratchett First Novel Prize.

If you think you’ve seen it all – WORLD WAR Z, THE WALKING DEAD – you haven’t seen anything like this. From the twisted brain of Michael Logan comes Apocalypse Cow, a story about three unlikely heroes who must save Britain . . . from a rampaging horde of ZOMBIE COWS!

Forget the cud. They want blood.

It began with a cow that just wouldn’t die. It would become an epidemic that transformed Britain’s livestock into sneezing, slavering, flesh-craving four-legged zombies.

And if that wasn’t bad enough, the fate of the nation seems to rest on the shoulders of three unlikely heroes: an abattoir worker whose love life is non-existent thanks to the stench of death that clings to him, a teenage vegan with eczema and a weird crush on his maths teacher, and an inept journalist who wouldn’t recognize a scoop if she tripped over one.

As the nation descends into chaos, can they pool their resources, unlock a cure, and save the world?

Three losers.
Overwhelming odds.
One outcome . . .

Yup, we’re screwed.

Wannabes

‘Logan … blends the bitingly satirical with the delightfully nonsensical with ease, creating a wonderfully entertaining mix. Hidden beneath all the dark comedy, Logan deftly picks apart the nature of celebrity culture.’ – The Eloquent Page

‘This is a writer with a certifiable imagination capable of weaving fact into fiction with deft strokes of dark genius smattered with sniggeringly wry humour; a plot so deliciously embellished with cringeworthy terror-filled reality that you can’t help feel empathy for the whole of humanity itself, whilst choking on your tittering.’ – John Hudspith, Author of Kimi’s Secret

Celebrities are mobbing London’s laser clinics as a deranged wannabe bumps off A-listers, believing he can absorb their powers and become famous by taping their tattoos to his body.

Washed-up pop star Jackie Thunder isn’t joining the stampede. Jackie figures that if he can get on the killer’s hit list, without the inconvenience of actually being murdered, he’ll gain the publicity needed to reignite his career.

But there’s more at stake than Jackie can possibly imagine. Guiding the killer is Murmur, a minor demon with his own agenda to make a name for himself, and Jackie becomes an unwitting pawn in a decades-old plot to destroy great music through murder, mayhem and manipulation.

With humanity’s collective soul at stake, how far will Jackie go to reach the top?

Baby number three has arrived – sort of

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My third baby arrived yesterday, and I’m very happy I didn’t have to deliver this one on the bathroom floor, as happened with our son in December. It’s a premature birth of sorts, since the baby in question is my book, which has been delivered in uncorrected proof form. For those who don’t know, this is a bound copy of the book for review purposes. Typos and some small changes to the text (taking out a bunch of said-bookisms that slipped through, for example) have yet to be made, but it is so close to the final text to make little difference.

I am aware it is slightly tragic to take a picture of the books in the baby hammock, but this particular baby took a lot longer to create than the last two (hundreds of hours vs 30 magnificent seconds), and so deserves at least as much love. I’ve been working toward this dream of being a published author for years, so I’m sure you can forgive my excitement.

We aren’t there yet. It’s rather like climbing a mountain and reaching a plateau near the top only to see another peak ahead. The foreword by Terry Pratchett, dedications, author bio and acknowledgements are all missing from the text, but the end is now in sight, and to actually have something in my hand that looks like a book feels wonderful.

The cover was exactly as I expected, and looks very striking, but I was also pleased with the spine, which looks very funky, and the prominent quote from Sir Terry on the back, saying the book made him ‘snort with laughter’. Even if the book bombs, knowing I made the man considered one of Britain’s foremost humorists laugh gives me a sense of achievement that will remain with me for the rest of my life.

These uncorrected proofs will be going out to reviewers, so I can expect to start getting a feel for what others think very shortly. Yes, I am nervous, but I remain hopeful it will get a positive response. Fingers, toes and other crossables are all firmly crossed.

Pratchett diary

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Just a quick one.

I’m writing a diary for Multi-Story about my experiences on the way to publication after winning the Terry Pratchett First Novel Prize with Apocalypse Cow. Latest entry is up here.

Getting real

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I was rather surprised last week to see Apocalypse Cow (avert your eyes now if shameless name dropping makes you feel queasy), which won Terry Pratchett’s first novel prize, available for pre-order on Amazon.co.uk, and also listed on amazon.com and amazon.ca. The publication date for the trade paperback and eBook is May 10 next year, so it is still a long way away, and I can only imagine the most hardcore of forward-planners (step forward my wife Nats, who keeps asking me about my five-year plan when I don’t even have a five-minute plan) will place orders now. 


Having said that, I have crept up the sales charts to a stupendous 297,699, which means that at least a few pre-orders have been place, although I don’t think David Nicholls, Dr Pierre Dukan and Kathryn Stockett need worry unduly about being knocked off their perch at the top just yet.

Not that I’m complaining. Seeing it up there for sale brings home the reality, which I have been struggling to accept. I don’t know if this is a first-author thing, or if it is because I am a miserable Scot who usually expects the worst possible outcome from every scenario, but I keep expecting the rug to be pulled out from under my feet, upending me onto my bony behind.

I’ve been like this the whole way through. When I submitted the novel to the Pratchett Prize, I did so at Nats’ insistence, as I was convinced it would never win. On the day the shortlist was to be announced, I wasn’t even thinking about it. When the initial elation of getting the email saying I had made the six-author shortlist faded, I then began waiting for another mail saying a mistake had been made. When that didn’t come, I convinced myself it would never win. When it did win, along with David Logan’s Half Sick of Shadows, I once again waited for the inevitable admission an error had been made. Then I kept expecting Transworld to change their minds, and pull the novel. And so on.

I think I have now just about accepted I am going to be a published author, but that isn’t going to stop me worrying. I can now turn my fruitless fretting to the fear of bad reviews and people not liking the book.

It just goes to show you can take the boy out of Glasgow, but you can’t take Glasgow out of the boy.

Who need enemies…

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…when you have friends like my former boss at The Budapest Times, Allan Boyko. Allan seemed to very much enjoy taking the piss out of me for the Pratchett Prize win in the article below. I would like to point out I actually didn’t see the child, and was only smiling because I was about to run into the underground and escape the horse charge, not because I was having an insane amount of fun rioting.

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