Michael Logan

Novelist, Journalist and other things ending in -ist

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Unmasking Richard Crompton, The PUNisher

May 6, 2014 by Michael Logan

Richard Crompton, and his agent and publishers, would have you believe he is a serious author. He did after all write The Honey Guide, a gritty and literary detective novel set in Nairobi. Said novel has indeed been longlisted for the Theakston Old Peculier Crime Novel of the Year. And it was shortlisted for an LA Times award that was eventually won by JK Rowling in authorial drag. And lots of serious people, including Ian Rankin, have said serious things about it in serious newspapers
I am here to crack about that façade, for the man is undoubtedly the worst punner in human history.
My publisher and I have been kicking around possible titles for the Apocalypse Cow follow-up. Innocently, I asked Richard Crompton if he had any thoughts. What followed in a string of text messages spanning 24 hours displays exactly the depths of verbal depravity this so-called ‘serious’ author is prepared to plumb.
Below I give you his list of suggested titles. Be warned: the groans you issue may well rupture several internal organs.

From Steer to Eternity
The (British) Empire Strikes Yak
Apocalypse Cow 2: Look Who’s Porking
The Sound of Moo Sick
Apocalypse Cow 2: Raising the Steaks
The Tripes of Wrath
Fiddler on the Hoof
For Whom the Cowbell Tolls
The Ruminants of the Day
Two Cows and One: A Space Cuddessy
Cowering Inferno
Episode Moo: A Moo Hope
A Moo to a Kill
Styfall
A Beef History of Time
The Lives of Udders
Tomorrow Heifer Dies
Carlitos’ Whey
Requiem for a Cream

Filed Under: apocalypse cow, puns, richard crompton, The Honey Guide

The Honey Guide

February 26, 2013 by Michael Logan

I don’t normally do reviews, but since I went to the trouble of writing and posting this review on Amazon and Goodreads, I figured I may as well put it up here to make it seem as though I actually update this blog occasionally.

The Honey Guide, by Richard Crompton
Police procedural/detective novels are ten-a-penny these days, many of them formulaic and rather predictable in terms of character and plot – putting aside the masters of the genre, that is. Fortunately, Richard Crompton’s novel sidesteps falling into the usual traps by virtue of the fact it is set in Nairobi, Kenya.

Anybody who has lived in Nairobi for any length of time, as I have, knows that the police force has limited access to modern policing techniques such as advanced forensics, vast computerized databases, and highly trained specialists. Even the guns look so old and rickety you wonder if they would ever fire – which is desirable since they are often casually wafted barrel-first at your head by the officer sitting next to you on a bumpy bus. As a result, Mr. Crompton’s book is a back-to-basics detective novel, in which the main protagonist Mollel – a Masai cop whose wife died in the US Embassy bombing – must track the murderer of a prostitute through old-fashioned legwork.

Complicating the investigation is the violence that erupted following disputed 2007 presidential elections, which sees Mollel following his lead through an increasingly chaotic landscape, and being sucked into corruption and political shenanigans in the process. Mollel himself is a fascinating character. While he has the obligatory demons, his are not the hackneyed issues of failed relationships and alcohol. I won’t go into any of them to avoid spoilers.

The novel is meticulously plotted, offering up red herrings aplenty along the way and keeping the reader guessing as to the identity of the killer until late into the book – although perhaps the more astute reader of detective fiction will figure it out sooner.

The writing very much leans toward the literary. Not a word is misplaced as Mr. Crompton paints a vivid picture of a capital city in which the thrust of capitalism has created an environment in which sprawling mansions and sparkling malls exist cheek-by-jowl with grinding poverty. Not that he lingers on this poverty: the energy and drive of ordinary Kenyans, an extraordinarily entrepreneurial and forward-looking people, comes through strongly. There is no weepy-eyed Western aid worker perspective here.

While having the aforementioned literary bent, from the opening scene where Mollel dispenses justice to a bag snatcher via a thumping kick to the nuts with steel toe caps to the climactic scene amidst a bloody riot, the story zips along with pace and verve.

This is the first in a series, and it looks likely to be one that keeps bringing readers back for more. The blurb says that Mr. Crompton will do for Nairobi what Ian Rankin did for Edinburgh. He has a long way to go before he pulls off that particular trick, but the early signs are that it is well within his grasp.

Filed Under: honey guide, review, richard crompton

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