Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Morrissey inspired a generation of whiny teenagers who felt they didn’t have a place in the world (myself included) to become whiny teenagers who realised that their place in the world was actually to be whiny teenagers. He made us realise there was nothing wrong with considering suicide a viable response to an outbreak of spots. He was responsible for making it possible to wear national health specs and still cop off with a bird. He made it seem perfectly normal to appear on Top of the Pops with a hearing aid and a small shrub protruding from your arse cleavage.

After these great achievements, what is Morrissey doing? Considering representing the UK in the Eurovision song contest (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6244153.stm). Should he actually go ahead and do it, he will go down in the history books alongside musical luminaries such as Cliff Richard, Black Lace, Sonia, Gina G and Buck’s Fizz.

Remember you always used to sing and talk about committing suicide, Morrissey? I know where you can buy a gun.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Morrissey inspired a generation of whiny teenagers who felt they didn’t have a place in the world (myself included) to become whiny teenagers who realised that their place in the world was actually to be whiny teenagers. He made us realise there was nothing wrong with considering suicide a viable response to an outbreak of spots. He was responsible for making it possible to wear national health specs and still cop off with a bird. He made it seem perfectly normal to appear on Top of the Pops with a hearing aid and a small shrub protruding from your arse cleavage.

After these great achievements, what is Morrissey doing? Considering representing the UK in the Eurovision song contest (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6244153.stm). Should he actually go ahead and do it, he will go down in the history books alongside musical luminaries such as Cliff Richard, Black Lace, Sonia, Gina G and Buck’s Fizz.

Remember you always used to sing and talk about committing suicide, Morrissey? I know where you can buy a gun.

I was browsing through a debate on the Guardian website this morning (the usual left-wing liberal vs. conservative debate where nobody listens to what anybody else says, instead just posting their own opinion REALLY STRIDENTLY). Anyway, this one post at least gave me a laugh. I haven’t checked the passages and do not vouch for its veracity:

When someone tries to defend homosexual equality, Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice, however, regarding some of the other specific laws in the Bible and how to follow them.

1). When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord (Leviticus 1:9). The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
2). I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
3). I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual cleanliness (Leviticus 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.
4). I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states that he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
5). A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is a abomination of Leviticus 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?
6). Leviticus 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
7). Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Leviticus 19:27. How should they die?
8). I know from Leviticus 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
9). My uncle has a farm. He violates Leviticus 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Leviticus 24:10-16). Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Leviticus 20:14).

I was browsing through a debate on the Guardian website this morning (the usual left-wing liberal vs. conservative debate where nobody listens to what anybody else says, instead just posting their own opinion REALLY STRIDENTLY). Anyway, this one post at least gave me a laugh. I haven’t checked the passages and do not vouch for its veracity:

When someone tries to defend homosexual equality, Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice, however, regarding some of the other specific laws in the Bible and how to follow them.

1). When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord (Leviticus 1:9). The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
2). I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
3). I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual cleanliness (Leviticus 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.
4). I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states that he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
5). A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is a abomination of Leviticus 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?
6). Leviticus 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
7). Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Leviticus 19:27. How should they die?
8). I know from Leviticus 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
9). My uncle has a farm. He violates Leviticus 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Leviticus 24:10-16). Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Leviticus 20:14).

At the risk of sounding like a moaning-faced git, which I suppose I am, I am becoming increasingly vexed with the dichotomy that I see in Hungary.

The nation seems to be split into two groups: the first is comprised of lovely, friendly and generally magnificent Hungarians, who would bend over backwards to help you out. Unfortunately they are in the minority.

Many Hungarians are, alas, miserable sods with faces akin to a bulldog chewing a wasp. And not a particularly tasty wasp at that. The fencing club Nats and I have been going to is largely populated with these po-faced twats (excluding Virginie, Csaba, Frozsi, Bianca and one or two others), and I am thoroughly sick of it. Tonight was the final straw, with some miserable teenage git seemingly unable to open her gob to politely ask me to move my fencing bag, with was encroaching on her piste by, oh, half a millimetre. If even that. Anyhoo, she virtually kicked it out of the way with a snarl.

Considering it was only in her general vicinity because she was glued to the back of the piste, hanging on by a frigging toenail, I couldn’t help but feel she was being a touch unreasonable, and told her so. Yes, I do speak Hungarian you silly cow.

Cheer up, for fuck’s sake.

DISCLAIMER: I am in a bit of grump, since I do love fencing and have lost my desire to do it because of the general attitude in that club. To all those Hungarians, of which there are a lot, who actually understand that facial muscles can also be used to create a smile instead of frown, and that the Hungarian language is complex enough to say a lot more than “Jaj!” repeatedly, I extend my heartfelt apologies.

At the risk of sounding like a moaning-faced git, which I suppose I am, I am becoming increasingly vexed with the dichotomy that I see in Hungary.

The nation seems to be split into two groups: the first is comprised of lovely, friendly and generally magnificent Hungarians, who would bend over backwards to help you out. Unfortunately they are in the minority.

Many Hungarians are, alas, miserable sods with faces akin to a bulldog chewing a wasp. And not a particularly tasty wasp at that. The fencing club Nats and I have been going to is largely populated with these po-faced twats (excluding Virginie, Csaba, Frozsi, Bianca and one or two others), and I am thoroughly sick of it. Tonight was the final straw, with some miserable teenage git seemingly unable to open her gob to politely ask me to move my fencing bag, with was encroaching on her piste by, oh, half a millimetre. If even that. Anyhoo, she virtually kicked it out of the way with a snarl.

Considering it was only in her general vicinity because she was glued to the back of the piste, hanging on by a frigging toenail, I couldn’t help but feel she was being a touch unreasonable, and told her so. Yes, I do speak Hungarian you silly cow.

Cheer up, for fuck’s sake.

DISCLAIMER: I am in a bit of grump, since I do love fencing and have lost my desire to do it because of the general attitude in that club. To all those Hungarians, of which there are a lot, who actually understand that facial muscles can also be used to create a smile instead of frown, and that the Hungarian language is complex enough to say a lot more than “Jaj!” repeatedly, I extend my heartfelt apologies.