I received possibly the greatest present known to humankind at the weekend. I’m not talking about the gift of love, or friendship, or any of that namby-pamby nonsense. I’m talking about a practical book that could one day save my life: The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks.

I would urge everyone who cares about ensuring the future safety of themselves and their family to rush out and buy this book now. It is eye-opening. Zombies are OUT THERE! And they are ready to STRIKE AT ANY MINUTE! I can’t believe there has been so much media hysteria over Bird Flu, Iran and Bin Laden when the largest threat to the world as we know it is being overlooked. Don’t delay. Invest in your future and buy this book today (even though it doesn’t have a section on Zombie Cows).

Nats is now possibly in for Wife of the Year award, as long as my other three don’t do anything outstanding before the ceremony.

I received possibly the greatest present known to humankind at the weekend. I’m not talking about the gift of love, or friendship, or any of that namby-pamby nonsense. I’m talking about a practical book that could one day save my life: The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks.

I would urge everyone who cares about ensuring the future safety of themselves and their family to rush out and buy this book now. It is eye-opening. Zombies are OUT THERE! And they are ready to STRIKE AT ANY MINUTE! I can’t believe there has been so much media hysteria over Bird Flu, Iran and Bin Laden when the largest threat to the world as we know it is being overlooked. Don’t delay. Invest in your future and buy this book today (even though it doesn’t have a section on Zombie Cows).

Nats is now possibly in for Wife of the Year award, as long as my other three don’t do anything outstanding before the ceremony.

They have found a really rare type of bear up in Canada; it’s the first grizzly polar crossbreed to have occcurred in the wild. How did they find it? Because somebody shot it dead. For fun. Way to go, redneck!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/4766217.stm

They have found a really rare type of bear up in Canada; it’s the first grizzly polar crossbreed to have occcurred in the wild. How did they find it? Because somebody shot it dead. For fun. Way to go, redneck!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/4766217.stm

Concrete is not a plant. If you water the pavement outside of your shop, it will not grow. The same goes for the stairs at metro stations. The only effect this has is to wet the shoes of passers-by, which do not grow either. Please stop before I take the hosepipe off you, shove it up your bum and let it run until you swell up to the size of Jo Brand.

Thank you.

Concrete is not a plant. If you water the pavement outside of your shop, it will not grow. The same goes for the stairs at metro stations. The only effect this has is to wet the shoes of passers-by, which do not grow either. Please stop before I take the hosepipe off you, shove it up your bum and let it run until you swell up to the size of Jo Brand.

Thank you.