Michael Logan

Novelist, Journalist and other things ending in -ist

Cruel Britannia is done

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It’s been a long slog, but Cruel Britannia, the follow-up to Apocalypse Cow, is now done. If you want to have a sneaky peek at the first six chapters, look no further than here.

Geldof and Lesley are back, along with a surprise return and many new characters as Britain finds itself on the verge of obliteration.

I hope you enjoy it.

Volunteer as a Zombie Cow for the Day

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I’m sure we can all agree that volunteering is a beautiful, selfless thing to do. There are so many disadvantaged groups that could benefit from a little of our time: un-stroked kittens;  elderly men with bad combovers that need held down by helping hands so they don’t undulate in the wind like seaweed; people suffering from the delusion that Jeremy Clarkson isn’t an enormous twat.

However, being a selfish bastard, I’m not going to ask you to help any of these people. I want you to serve for the charity of me. Not enough people are buying my book, which means I can’t feed my cigar, caviar and champagne habit. This is a tremendously tragic travesty, which I aim to remedy with your help.
Since Apocalypse Cow has a whiff of the B-movie about it, I plan to produce a homemade book trailer while simultaneously raising awareness of the book. How? This September, I am going to hire a panto cow outfit. I will then get some Apocalypse Cow posters pinned back and front and film the cow running wild around London and Glasgow, scaring the shit out of passers-by while I film.
So, how can you help?
1. You can volunteer to be a zombie cow or zombie cow victim for the day. The dates I am thinking of at the moment are Wednesday September 11 in Glasgow, from 11am to 5pm, and Saturday September 14 in London, from 9am-4pm. I can promise you a fun day out, credit on the film and alcoholic beverages while we run around making tits of ourselves.
2. Film yourself, your friends, your dollies, your Star Wars figure collection or your beloved hamster being attacked by a zombie animal of some variety and send the clip to me. It can be as ridiculous as you want it to be. Dialogue, scene and setting I leave entirely up to you.
3. You can send me a large sum of cash so I can hire Peter Jackson to produce the trailer for me in the style of Bad Tasteor Braindead. I think his rates have gone up since those days, so be generous. I’ll accept returnable bottles (as long as you haven’t jammed cigarette ends into them) and food stamps.
In case you are wondering if this is a bad joke of the kind served up in my book on every other page, it isn’t. I am perfectly serious and would very much appreciate whatever time people are willing to give up.

If you liked Apocalypse Cow and want to see more books in that vein, or if you are simply looking for some shits and giggles, drop me a line through Twitter, my Facebook author page or by email.
 

Michael.

2nd book done, so what now?

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Last night, I finished my second novel, Wannabes, which began over two years as a rather simple idea and turned into something very different and infinitely stranger. It’s bizarre to spend so much of your spare time immersed in this other world only to emerge blinking into the sunlight and realize it’s just a story.
Still, I feel way better about this book than I ever did about Apocalypse Cow, which may well be a sign that it is far worse. It has gone out to some readers to get that first wave of feedback, so I’ll get some impression of whether or not I’ve lost it soon.
I’ll sit on it for a month before having a last look and then zipping it off. My deal was for one book only, so there is no guarantee the publisher will take it. Regardless, I am feeling rather pleased with myself for getting this done with a full-time job, two young kids and a busy social life (thanks to my popular wife).
As for what’s next: I have a pile of short stories half written, so I’m going to spend the next few months getting them finished and out to magazines and what-not. After that, I have to choose between writing a sequel to Apocalypse Cow (currently entitled Cruel Britannia, as per the last chapter) or starting on a novel that uses a sci-fi concept to satirize the wacky world of international humanitarian aid.
If anybody wants to express a preference, feel free!

Storymoja Hay Festival and Telegraph Short Story

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I got my first taste of a literary festival as an author last night at the Storymoja Hay Festival launch party, and I’m afraid I must report that taste was largely dominated by beer and wine. This led me to lose my phone, which was happily handed in this morning. Hurray for the honest clean-up crew at the Nairobi national museum!

I also saw this morning that my short story The Red Lion, written for The Telegraph for the festival, has made it up onto their website. Another Hurray!

And for the third hurray, I get to hang out with all kinds of excellent writers and artists over the weekend. There are some real literary heavy-hitters there, including Giles Foden, Dinaw Mengestu and Precious Williams. My novel about zombie cows probably doesn’t exactly fit the profile of the rest of the great authors, so I can only hope they don’t look at me askance when I tell them exactly what I’ve written.

Anyway, I’m sure much fun will be had.

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