Loathe as I am to seem as though I am obsessed with nénis (the second largest plague and threat to civilisation as we know it next to zombies) I still can’t believe what the old woman next door has done.
We came back from Paris to find that several of our plants had been plucked out and callously left to die, withered and unloved, beside the pot on the balcony. At first I thought that somebody just didn’t like us, but then as I was leaving for work yesterday morning, I bumped into my next door neighbour.
She started off by saying how well my plants were doing, but then pointed out that some of them were weeds. She then plunged her gnarled old fingers into one of the plantpots and whipped out a plant in front of my eyes, proclaiming it be a weed. Now, I have to admit that I’m no plant expert, and maybe it was a weed, but the point is it was my weed. For all she knows, I’m trying to grow weeds. As I started trying to fend her busy hands off the other plants, the other nosy neighbour joined in and pointed out that around half of the other plants were surplus to requirements.
Personally, I’d rather wait and see how they turn out, as some of them look like they could be nice weeds. Am I going to have to carry out my threat of building an electric fence around the plant pots? Find something to do apart from playing cheesy songs on the organ at full volume and killing my plants, you old BAG!
OK, I didn’t say that to her, as she is generally nice and has been bringing over pálinka, wine and food. Still, that doesn’t give her the right to murder my plants.